My Mom and Death

This past Sunday morning at 9:45am, while I was preaching about the Lord of the local church, she went home to be with Him. Just eight days after celebrating her 88th birthday on May 31st, the Lord called one of His own to Himself. Those eight days were both painfully short and strangely long—short because her decline came so rapidly, long because she lingered when it looked like the end had come. Monday evening was the last time I heard her sweet voice after hospice took over. 

Losing those you love is always bittersweet for believers. It’s bitter to watch the curse of sin and death cruelly drain the life from them and then feel the sudden break of that earthly relationship. But it’s sweet to know with certainty that the moment she left her body, she stood face to face with the Savior she deeply loved, served, and honored with her life. 

We hold tightly to memories of our mothers, and while no one’s perfect, mine came close. She had such a gentle, quiet strength and a resilient faith. She was never one for the spotlight—she loved to serve behind the scenes. Kind. Sweet. Patient. Joyful. Generous. Faithful. I can’t remember her ever missing a Sunday gathering until this past Mother’s Day, when her health rapidly began to fail. She adored my dad, supported his demanding work in the ministry, and raised three children with grace and truth, and loved being “Nene” to ten grandchildren and eighteen great-grandchildren. Her shoes are definitely big ones to fill and she is already deeply missed. 

Death can rattle us. When I speak at memorials, I often share what I call the four great certainties—truths that anchor us when death confronts us head-on: 

  1. The God of care is never absent: Even in our sorrow, our questions, and the ache of goodbyes, God is right here. He made promises like:

    • “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5)

      1. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

      2. "Behold, God is my helper, the Lord is the sustainer of my soul." (Psalm 54:4)

      3. He walks with us, comforts us, and strengthens us because He understands since He willingly gave up His only begotten Son.

  2. The gift of life is never long: Life can feel long, but in God’s eyes, it’s just "a breath" (Job 7:7), "a cloud" (Job 7:9), "a shadow" (Job 8:9), “a vapor that appears for a little while then vanishes away” (James 4:14).

    • God gave my mom 88 years. We are into years, but God is into days (“teach us to number our days” – Psalm 90:12), so my mom was granted 32,128 brief days in light of eternity.

    • This life is a puff of smoke, yet we try to extend it through medicine, diets, exercise, or vitamins, but we can’t outrun our appointment with death (Heb. 9:27). Only God knows the day—and it’s always shorter than we think.

  3. The grace of God is never exhausted: It is amazing how lavish God is with His free gift of undeserved, unmerited, and unexpected grace. He tells us our Savior is “full of grace and truth” (John. 1:14), He is called “the God of all grace” (1 Pet. 5:10), we love “for by grace you have been saved thru faith” (Eph. 2:8), and we are given “grace upon grace” (John 1:16) and this grace is greater than our sin (Rom. 5:20)

    • Grace carried my mom—and it carries you and me. It is all-sufficient. God’s grace saves, sustains, forgives, empowers, and comforts. Even when we fail or fall short, His grace never runs out (Eph. 1:7).

    • If we truly belong to Christ, He will carry us all the way home.

  4. The grave Is never final: Death isn’t the end—it’s a doorway, and everyone faces eternity—either eternal life in heaven or eternal death in hell. The difference is what we do with Christ.

    • The good news is that “Jesus abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.” (2 Tim. 1:10)

    • The one and only Savior lived the perfect life we never could, died the death we deserved, and rose again to offer us hope, peace, forgiveness, and everlasting joy in Him. The only way to be ready for death is to know Him—not just know about Him—and He said, “He who believes in Me has eternal life.” (John 6:47)

I miss my mom deeply. But I’m so thankful she and my dad taught me truths like these and others. Because of Christ, death doesn’t win. One day, it will be your day and mine—unless the Lord returns first.

The question is: Are you ready for your appointment?

Pastor Jeff

Trusting God is not a matter of my feelings but of my will. I never feel like trusting God when adversity strikes, but I can choose to do so even when I don’t feel like it.
— Jerry Bridges, Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts (NavPress, 2008), 52
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